Goal
of Cooperative Parenting:
Cooperative Parenting focuses on the relationships between and among adults who
are separated, divorced, or never married who are rearing their
children in two households. The overarching goal is to protect
and support children in these homes by teaching parents (and
other caregivers) information and skills to:
A)
Reduce or eliminate
conflict between parents.
B)
Establish or enhance
communication between parents.
C)
Decrease reliance
on family court for dispute resolution.
D)
Maximize participants'
ability to accept personal responsibility for their relationship
with the other parent.
E)
Provide practical
skills for extinguishing hostility and promoting cooperation
between (among) adults.
Cooperative Parenting Introduction and History:
Cooperative Parenting was created in 2000 by Shari Delisle, Ph.D. to expand the
resources available to families of divorce and those engaged
in legal disputes in the Family Courts. Initially Cooperative Parenting (formerly kown as Parents'
Turn) was created because parents entering other kids programs
were so absorbed in their struggles with the other parent, they
were not ready or able to focus on their children.
Cooperative Parenting
is a three week "intensive: (7.5 hours) in which parents meet
once a week for three weeks. Tuition for Cooperative Parenting is "sliding
scale" and based on household income of parent participants.
40% of Cooperative Parenting participants attend on scholarship ($15
per session). The tuition schedule can be found on the registration
form. To date, Dr. Delisle teaches all of the Cooperative Parenting
classes personally which assures participating parents that
workshop content is consistent. This is an important issue
for parents who want to be assured that their co-parent is learning
exactly the same information they are.
Cooperative Parenting was created for these reasons:
1)
To prepare adults
for other programs where the focus is on the children
during and following divorce or a custody dispute.
2)
To provide an intensive workshop for adults unable or
unwilling to participate in other programs.
3)
To provide a resource for non-parent adults (step parents,
significant others, grandparents) whose families are engaged
in divorce or custody disputes.
4)
To make parent
education more widely available to the thousands of San
Diego parents rearing
children in dual households.
Since May 2000,
hundreds of Cooperative Parenting workshops have been provided in the
following locations: Chula Vista, San Diego, La Mesa, Escondido, Carlsbad and
Encinitas.
Overview:
Parents do
not attend the same workshop with one another. Each one
must register for different workshops but a parent can attend
a workshop with a current spouse, partner or grandparent.
The Cooperative Parenting workshops offer a compassionate, tough learning environment
where each parent (or participant) must confront his or her
role in the destructive cycle of combative co-parenting. Using
kindly confrontation, the curriculum focuses on these key issues:
1)
Forcefully communicates the damage children suffer when
they (or caregivers) are in conflict.
2)
Challenges each participant to change their attitude
and behavior toward co-parent.
3)
Holds each parent accountable for his or her progress
(or lack of progress) during the course.
4)
Provides simple, effective strategies for effective self
management to end hostility, and initiate or improve communication
with co-parent.
5)
Offers practical techniques for developing a cordial
"business" relationship with the co-parent.
6)
Encourages parents to assume personal responsibility
while abandoning efforts to change the other parent.
A
variety of teaching techniques are used to enhance learning:
lecture, videos, case studies, role plays, individual reporting,
group brainstorming for solutions to individual problems and
traditional group therapy techniques. Each participant receives
a 40 page handout which they refer to and keep following class.
Group
size ranges from 5 - 20 participants. The curriculum is arranged
so that a parent can easily "make up" a session in another workshop
if he or she must be absent for a session. Parents must complete
all three sessions and have tuition paid before receiving a
graduation certificate (see attached).
Referral
Process: Within 24 hours of a call to the Cooperative Parenting office,
a referral/registration packet is mailed out. To register for
a workshop, a parent calls the Cooperative Parenting office and indicates
which workshop he or she wishes to attend. A confirming letter
is mailed out within 24 hours. This means that a parent can
be enrolled in a workshop and seated in a classroom soon after
the first contact with the Cooperative Parenting office. At least four
workshops are offered each month and in most cases, parents
can enroll in their "first choice" workshop.
Parents
complete two questionnaires. During the first ten minutes of
the first session, they fill out a three page self report that
provides instructor information, but also begins the process
of self analysis. At graduation, parents complete a course
assessment to monitor workshop impact on attendees.
Graduate
Feedback:
Graduate
evaluations have been completed since the first workshop. Some
sample feedback:
-
98% of graduates
reported they were less likely to engage in conflict because
of what they had learned in Cooperative Parenting.
-
41% of graduates
attended because it was mandatory
-
79% of participants
rated their level of satisfaction as high
-
85% of participants
said there was a good balance between lecture and group participation
-
87% of participants
said their participation had changed their attitude and/or
behavior
-
34% of participants
said they were less likely to take legal actions against their
co-parent.